Posted by
Rich on Sunday, April 13, 2008 4:27:58 PM
How
would you like a job that didn’t require you to have a high degree of
accuracy, and not be held accountable for wrong decisions or opinions?
A job where expressing a point of view or an opinion based more on
conforming to a certain form takes precedence over fact-based
observations and accuracy of predictions? Think of it: you wouldn’t
have to be burdened by the same tiresome, worrisome standards as the
rest of the world, namely, that failure to adequately predict what is
going to happen costs you your job and reputation.
Well,
welcome to the world of liberal commentating. In this job, you need not
be burdened ever again with the annoyance of being correct in your
predictions, or explanations of the way things work. In fact, you will
be supported by colleagues and associates who, using various means,
will adhere to these same opinions irrespective of reality, and distort
objectivity in order to create reverse justifications for a principle
or a broadly held set of views and ideas that are considered above the
requirement of having to be proven or demonstrated to actually work.
You
will be joining an elite group, allied against the mundane and
pedestrian multitudes of those whose work necessitates that they are
highly correct in their prediction and execution of duties, validated
by real measures, and have an accuracy rate above 50%. You will enjoy
the unearned luxury of opining and criticizing from a position of
automatic moral superiority, based on nothing more than supposition and
assumption that any Leftist position or opinion emanating therefrom is
to be taken not only as one with extra bonus points (no matter how
intrinsically illogical or phantasmagorical), but also, the burden of
proof, the standard of didactic will be lower, the breadth and width of
allowable self indulgent piffle shall be of a greater amount allowable
to you.
Another not inconsiderable benefit to
liberal commentating is the deliciously rare privilege of not having to
show appropriate wisdom and experience commensurate with your actual
chronological age. You can freeze your public persona through your work
at your previous pubescent or barely legal drinking age. Your worldview
can remain at a static college freshman level, with all the naiveté,
excitement, and warm thrill of adolescent confusion and idealism. The
pressure of growing up, and the labor of reconciling the real world
with your insular college indoctrination need not occupy your time and
pursuit of perpetual insulation from the pain of expository and
corrective experience.
Upon acceptance, you will be given a
tutorial package of various tools and concepts, such as French
political, social, and moral rationale that can derail any principled
attempt to hold you to account or justification for your positions. We
provide more than just the liberal standard bag of neutralizers of
criticism, such as dismissing those “Real World” types as “simplistic”,
“unsophisticated”, “parochial”, “unimaginative”, and so on. Your cover
and evasive strategy will be the posture of the “World Citizen” and
adopting European attitudes (moral equivocation, ambiguity, relative
ethics), with vagueness and evasiveness pretending to be depth and
profundity. You will learn various rhetorical “tricks” and deflections
that are necessary and essential, due to the shallow, easy and
intellectually non-rigorous nature of your educational background in
journalism, education, social sciences, and similar “ethnic” studies
curricula. We in the “Cause” know that these require little demand on
the intellect, and that making good grades depends on the “right”
responses and “correct” points of view.
Send
your résumé to begin an exciting career excepting yourself from the
work necessary of the rest of the world. And prepare for a of life
sneering at your intellectual and moral betters.